Every so often on Late Night With Conan O’Brien, “Hannigan the Traveling Salesman” shows up between guests and I can’t stop laughing.

The character is played by Brian Stack who also does the ghost of 20’s crooner Artie Kendall, Frankenstein, and the lips of Martha Stewart, among others. The guy is hilarious.

BUT

I’ve been searching web pages for 45 mintues now and haven’t been able to come up with a single quote or video of the character. My goal here? To start a list of Hannigan the Traveling Salesman Quotes.

So, if you know any - please make a quick comment with them…

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Found a video. Can’t link directly to it, but go HERE (Internet Explorer only), search for “conan” and some should come up labeled “Late Night: Salesman”.

Quotes:

Salesman: Happy Holidays little girl is your daddy home?
Conan: I’m not a little girl.
Salesman: Please dont be insulted. Little girl is just a metaphor I use for gullable jackass. Of course i would never call you a gullable jackass to your face.
Conan: Ok. You just did.

Conan: I don’t wanna buy anything.
Salesman: He said ironicly.

Conan: I’m trying to do a comedy show here.
Salesman: Comedy show, hey? Must be that new kind of comedy where they laugh on the inside.

Salesman: Hop on the laugh-tractor, we’re off to the chuckle harvest.

Salesman: Hop on the giggle-trolley, we’re off to Laugh Francisco.

Salesman: Tie on your giggle-apron, we’re baking a chuckle cake.

Salesman: How bout a down-and-dirty Martha Stuart rib-tickler from my more pedestrian foxwood line?
Conan: Ok fine. Go ahead.
Salesman: Ok, grab a sherpo we’re climbing Mount St. Funny.
Boy, that Martha Stewart sure is well dressed. If those duds were any sharper they could cut meat, or fruit, or some other type of food she’s preparing on a television show. Sure hope she doesn’t cut her finger. Cash or Credit?