I like nature… when I’m outside. I really do. I love a running stream, fall colors, an apple tree, and a walk through a snowy trail. But when I’m inside, I expect nature to stay out. Maybe that’s wrong… to think it’s ok to go out into nature, but not let it in… but whatever.

Which brings me to my current dilemma – the ladybug. Ladybugs somehow start to swarm the windows and doors here as winter approaches, inevitably finding a crack to get inside. They may be cute one at a time, but literally hundreds of them clumped up in the corners of windows and screen doors (inside) is disgusting.

This brings me to my current pleasure… watching 2 of them die without having to do anything. Bugs are stupid, as if someone needed to tell you that. There’s a florescent ceiling light above me, a round one, which is basically sealed to the ceiling. But of course, the ladybug finds a way into this light. The only problem for them, is that they quickly forget which way they came in, and can never get out.

There’s plenty of other bugs there already; their dead carcasses creating raison-like silhouettes on the frosted glass. The 2 ladies who recently joined them seemed excited at first, half-flying and hitting the top of the light, only to be bounced back to the bottom and creating a ‘ding’ from their hard shells hitting the surface. They’ve stopped flying now. Occasionally while their walking around they’ll bump into each other – sometimes 2 or 3 times in a row as if to say “why the hell did you lead me in here?”

It seems hunger may have already got the best of them, as they are running into the old bug carcasses from weeks past and, from what I can tell from the shadows, nipping at their bodies. Most likely not getting anything worth while, they slowly pace on opposite sides of the light, maybe it’s getting hot. Well, they wanted out of the cold… be careful what you wish for.

About 3 inches apart now, they’re maintaining their current positions – not walking around, but shaking fairly violently. I’m smiling. They stop, then shake again, sometimes making a last-ditch attempt for a crevasse to slip out. Sniffing around the dead bugs again, pulling, shaking… they know they’re time is almost up. They’re even starting to nip at each other, probably realizing that the only meal in their new universe is the other. They’re staying on opposite sides of the light now.

Another has landed on the outside of the light now. Maybe the 2 called for help? Or more likely, another sad attempt to attack my world gone awry. He’s mad he can’t yet find a way in, but I’m sure he will.

He made it in.

I’ve tired of their antics so I armed myself with my can of bug killer. I’ve sprayed towards the ceiling next to the light, hoping to get the fumes into the dome. I’m waiting…

Attacks on the dead bugs have gotten vicious now. I’m amazed at this survival mode. Shaking franticly with the hopes of a last meal. One has stopped moving and the 2nd of the first 2 bugs is already trying to either eat it or revive it. The 3rd lady has been devouring the largest carcass that greeted them, breaking it into 3 pieces.

Sleep my pets… sleep… calm your shaking, for your last minutes should be spent peaceful.

They’re shadows are still now… calm. It’s over for now. Until the next one arrives.

She’s here.