A couple of Tuesdays ago, I was driving to work heading west on Madison’s belt line. I made it just past South Town and had to pull over with an astonishing pain in my back/side. I couldn’t believe I was doing it, but I reached for my phone to call 911. All the while I was thinking to myself… I’m sure I’m fine… I can’t believe I’m going to call 911… I don’t know. It was just surreal I guess.

Anyway, right before I was dialing, both of my arms went completely numb. I was already hunched over, sitting on my left hip and my head resting against the window glass. The 911 operator came on and asked questions… most of which I don’t remember. Actually, I don’t even know if it was a male or female to be honest. So the ambulance couldn’t find me, 911 called me back to ask me where I was again… and then the ambulance pulled up. I couldn’t believe this was me… I WAS THE GUY holding up traffic as the police truck was now behind me clearing traffic from the right lane. Oh boy. I was helped to the ambulance, told that my car would be towed to the blah blah auto shop. Sorry, I wasn’t listening… because I was now puking. Yeah. Great. Regurge McGriddle.

I get to the hospital in so much pain I couldn’t see straight. They told me right away that it was a kidney stone. Fun! They loaded me up with drugs, which was deceivingly helpful, and I called Kyle for a ride. He took me all the way home, which was great. Even though the hospital found out where my car was for me, I was in no condition to drive. So I’m waiting for Kyle, and the pain comes back. Pop some pills.

I popped pills for the next 24 hours when they stopped working and I had to go back to the ER for more IV. As I was leaving I actually went to the bathroom and passed a stone! Great! I was thrilled but still uncomfortable. Back home for more pills. 24 hours later - back in the ER… this time, 2 does of morphine with no results. And this is after taking twice the recommended dosage of Percocet all day. They gave me something else through the IV, which finally worked… except - I thought I already passed this thing? Another CT scan and sure enough, the big one is still there. Wonderful. Back home to pop more pills.

Finally, late Friday night, the final stone passed. Saturday night I started to get over the drugs, and I was back to work on Monday with a sore back and side. A week after that now, I still have soreness in the kidney, but nothing I’m taking anything for.

It turns out it was a calcium stone, which is the most common type. They don’t know exactly what it’s from, but some of the things besides genetics are coffee, chocolate, tea, and a long list of other things. It’s evidently just the way your body processes certain types of things. An excess of vitamin C can actually cause them too… I’m gonna ease up on my supplement. So much for my mom saying my whole life, “you can never take too much vitamin C - you’ll just pee it out.” Yeah, you will, either as a liquid or a sharp jagged rock.